Friday, November 26, 2010

Celebrity Review- Nicolas Cage: Best Worst Actor Ever

They forgot to mention BRILLIANT.

 Quickly everyone, name the 5 worst Nicolas Cage movies of all time.  I know I know, it's too difficult right?  Who else has done more ridiculously poor movies than Nicholas Cage?  I challenge you to come up with someone worse (if you just thought to yourself "Jason Statham," then close but no cigar.)  What sets Nic Cage apart from the rest of the actors with a slew of bad movies, however, is the fact that he has been in a number of very good films as well.  This is where I propose you find the genius of Nicolas Cage: He may very well be the greatest bad actor of all time.  Nobody else can pull off the bad-but-good schtick as well as Mr. Cage can.   Nobody.  (Brendam Frasier is a close second place, so stop freaking out Frasiernatics.)  Even during the worst of movies, I never fail to be entertained by Nic and his over-the-top craziness.  Perhaps it is his gift to the moviegoers of the world that he refuses to let these bad movies go as simply bad movies.  I see no other explanation, really, so everybody say "Thank you Nicolas Cage!"  ....good, now we can move on.

Just for kicks, lets go over some of Nic Cage's Best bad movie's, and some of the best moments from those.  I'm going to start with one that I just watched last night:

The Sorcerer's Apprentice-  Just one of many movies that would be nearly unwatchable if not for the raw and viscerable performance by Nicolas Cage.  Watch in this scene, the first one of the movie, as Nicolas Cage shows you what acting is all about.  The kid in the scene asks an obvious and completely fair question.  Cage, noting that the movie had so far been lacking in the intensity department, makes a judgement call and forcefully injects some power into what I believe was his 4th line of the movie.  Indeed, nobody does it like Cage.

Tell that kid who is boss, you badass!
The Wicker Man: In one of his more famous pieces of bad/great acting, Nic Cage gives us a good idea of what it would be like to have a swarm of bees poured into your net helmet.  A disclaimer on this clip: When I watched this film in its entirety (don't do that) on HBO, this scene was not in the movie, leading me to believe that it may have been a deleted scene.  Which poses the question: who on EARTH would delete this scene from any movie?  Especially a movie as bad as The Wicker Man?!?  This would have increased the enjoyability of this movie tenfold.  I waited for it literally the entire time I was watching.

Breathtaking.  Note how he claimed to have bees in his eyes, yet they appear to stay away from the eyes.

Bangkok Dangerous- I figure Cage took one look at the title of this movie and knew he had to be in it.  It is obviously his cup of tea.  In this scene, Nicolas Cage is on a date with a deaf girl, and they are eating Thai food.  Note how Cage makes absolutely certain that everyone in the audience knows what is happening in this scene.  I couldn't find a video I could embed, but here is a link to the clip on youtube.  By the way, if you watch this you have seen nearly everything you need to see from this movie.  Please trust me on this one, for your own good.

Nicolas Cage being an acting legend.
If you have ever been on a date like this, its time to throw in the towel.  Just saying.

I could go on and on about Nic Cage and his library of amazing bad movies, but I don't want to do that because it will take too long.  Instead, I will try to list a couple more of his bad movies for you to check out:

  • Ghost Rider- Haven't seen it, don't need to.
  • The Bad Lietenant: Port of Call New Orleans- Worse than the title, epic Cage moments/
  • G-Force
  • Knowing
  • Next
And in the interest of fairness, here is a list of good movies he is in:

  • The Rock
  • Con Air
  • Face/Off
  • Adaptation
  • Raising Arizona
It seems, however, that he stopped making good movies after he decided to get into a bad hair contest with Tom Hanks.
Good news, Nic.  Tom Hanks forfeited a looong time ago.

Thanks for everything, Nic Cage!


Hair: 0/10
Crazy: 10/10
Legendary Status: Secure

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